To fail, and......then?

Short update.

I think of dreaming of my As results and my palms turn clammy and my stomach starts churning.

I hate it when people tell me that "there're so many people who are worse, you aren't lousy". Cut me some slack and don't ask, if that's what you're going to tell me. You'd be semi exasperated, I'd be frustrated.

It's sort of a personal benchmark you know, my grades? I take pride in them and whatever I've set out to achieve, I want to be able to do it.

The fear of failure is too great for me. Other than the more pragmatic aspiration of studying NUS Pharmacy, I also have no heart to think of how I'd face myself if I didn't get my grades.

Straight As, for the record.

One month left to manipulate my probable terror into resignation, for GP and Econs.

I put in so much effort for those but I guess exams really are a matter of luck after all.





It's actually almost seemingly childish to worry about grades right now, when everybody's working and still caught up with having fun. But I worry about it more and more as March draws nearer. Every time I look at my A level Chinese cert and see the B there, it's a stab so stinging I regret not working (even) harder. Bs on my main cert...............good lord.




Childish. Too preoccupied and wound up to let go.